Knock, Knock....

Wow- my kid is such a free thinker.  It amazed me when he started being mobile and had free will (a strong one at that), but now he's making connections and thoughts that seriously make me laugh for days!! 

One thing he's always done, is if he hears a nonsense word, he'll repeat it sounding like a word he knows, or he'll make a combination of word parts.  Here are two instances from this past week:

One morning we were going out to the car and he loves to hear his echo, so I tried to teach him "Yodel-ay-hee-hoo" and he said he couldn't say that. Two minutes later, I'm buckling him in the car and he says "I can say it! Little Sheep hee-hoo!" He "little sheep hee-hoo'd" all the way to school and then all the way home. :)  All day that day, I'd get a free moment where I wasn't using my brain and all I could hear was that "little sheep hee-hoo"!!!  I giggled about it all day.

He has a doctor's kit that has one of those reflex hammers. He's always been a little confused because the doctor has never checked his reflexes, but she has checked his ears alot. The reflex hammer looks  little like the ear checker (exact term for that thing is not coming to me right now.....).  Now, I tried to teach him that it's not an ear checker, it's a reflex hammer.  So here's what he says to my mom when she came over the other day "Grandmommie, sit down. Sit still. I need to check your knees and elbows with this here earflex checker." BAHAHA! So close!

Today we were driving to the dr and he says "Want to hear a joke, Mama?"  I know this is bound tobe good because we don't tell jokes in our family. Most of the time we laugh plenty just by laughing at real life events. We don't need jokes. :)  But I say "Of course!"  He says "POOOOOEEEEYYYY!" and laughs his little head off. I feel it necessary that if he knows how to says "You want to hear a joke?" he should have something decent to back that up with. POOOOOEEEYYY won't cut it.  I try to teach him a knock knock joke. Why on earth I picked the most difficult style of joke to learn and teach to a 3 year old only speaks of the little sleep and minor illness I've been battling. Nonetheless, here's the Knock Knock lesson in a format that's a little easier to understand. (M is me, G is, yeah, Gage- maybe i didn't need to explain that....oh well.)

M: Knock knock- Now, Gage you say 'Who's there?"
G: Its me, Gage. Come on in!!
M: *laughs hysterically* No, Honey, when I say knock knock, you say 'who's there?" Knock knock.
G: Oh- Who's there?
M: Dwayne. Now you say 'Dwayne who?'
G: ok. Dwayne who?
M: Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning!
G: Ok. Come on in!!!
M: *sigh*
G: POOOOEY *laughs hysterically*

Seriously, my kid is hilarious. :)

...Because God made me that way...

So I totally love Gage's new favorite saying.  You can ask him pretty much anything and the answer is "Because God made me/it that way!" A few weeks ago he asked my mom why she had brown eyes.  Anytime he asks me that I can just tell him "Because Grandmommie has brown eyes and God wanted me to have eyes like Grandmommie's."  Well- both my mom's parents had blue eyes, so she can't really say that. She was sort of stumped so Gage answered for her "Oh, I know. It's because God made you that way."  Hehehe..... I LOVE that!

Monday my mom stayed with Gage and he was playing games and he's really very fast at them. She asked "Wow, Gage, how did you get so fast at those games??" his answer "God made me that way." :)

Now, here's the kicker....  Yesterday he pooped.  He asks "Why is poop so stinky? Because God made it that way?"  UMMMMMMMM........ sure, baby.  :) 

One for the books....

All right people. It was a white Christmas in Texas. Yup. I just typed that sentence and it's true. Oh- your don't believe me? Ok- fine- here- proof!

That's Gage throwing a snowball at me. Would've been cute had Dad caught this moment with both of us in the act, but he was doing this:

Apparently he's recovering from staying up until 2:30 on Christmas Eve helping Santa create this:

 

That would be our dining room transformed into a preschool room for our sweet little man! :) More pictures and details to come about the creation of this preschool wonderland and the incredible adventures that await us here. (Not to mention a few samples of the artwork that my little van Gogh will soon create at the little white table.....)

This Christmas was one of the best I've had in a very long time!  I saw almost all of my family, got some great smiles and hugs in return for "just what Gage wished for!" and actually got to bake and cook a little! :)

I am beyond thankful for this beautiful blessing called family that God has given to me! 

Even more thankful for the blessing of his Son and the gift of LIFE!

Silly Goose.....????

Ok, why do people say "Silly goose"? It's one of Gage's favorite sayings lately.

"Gage! Time for dinner!"
"Oh, Mama! You silly goose!"  Huh???
"Gage, do you need to go potty?"
"Oh, Mama! You silly goose!"   Ehh???

Now- why?!?! What is silly about a goose?  It's yucky feathers? Funky beak? Beady little eyes? Webbed feet? I'd say "Freaky Goose".  Birds of all kinds creep me out though.  Here's one of the lowest points in my parenting, but it's funny, and I'm fairly certain CPS isnt' reading this.... :)

While visiting my dad and step-mom we stopped by a little creek that runs through town. (Cibolo Creek)  There are tons of turtles, fish, trees, and these giant duck things. (Yes, duck things- they were not the cute little fluffy yellow things I see in my head when I think "duck"). They were GIANT yucky, dirty, loud things.... and they scared me. Gage was about 18 months old or so and we had taken bread to feed the yucky feathered things.  They knew it too.  They'd come running, but stop short. So what do I do? We're walking along the creek and every time we come close to a feathered beast, I take a step further away from it and push Gage a little closer. He was my little human barrier between me and the beasts.  He wasn't scared of them. He loved them. I was doing him a favor. Don't judge.  Had he been afraid of them, we would have just gotten in the car and kept going, but he wasn't- I was. My dad was walking behind us, laughing at me!  Thinking back- it must have looked pretty hilarious. 

My brave boy protected me from the feathered beasts and for that, I'm eternally grateful! :)

Ok- now seriously- why "silly goose"?

Really?? Seriously??? Worst. Day. Ever.

Ok- so what you are about to read is somewhat unbelievable. But the facts are the facts, and I haven't even changed the names to protect the innocent (or ignorant...me!)

We go to take Gage to the doctor this morning and I realize that my darling husband still has the carseat from the trip to ICE last night. Doh! So I bring out the old one that is too tight and cram Gage into to ride around the corner and get the good one from William at work. We get there, and he doesn't want to get out of the old one. Afterall, it's the "bestest one!"  Thank goodness Dad convinced him to move.

We get to McDonald's to get breakfast (I'm STARVED!) and I am about to order when I go to grab my wallet- it's at home. In the bag we took to ICE last night. UGH! No cash, no debit card, nothing.  Luckily, I scrounge up $2 in dimes from the bottom of my purse (good thing I never clean that thing out!) and we got 2 plain biscuts and 2 small waters.  Breakfast of prisoners, bread and water. Perfect.

Get to the doctor- still no card. Can't pay for the visit. Ugh,

Take Gage to school. I'm dropping him off when the teacher asks if I washed his pillow and blanket for nap over the break. I did. And it's still at home. *sigh* It's ok, they have extras he can borrow one for today.  Out the door and on to work.

Get to work. I go to throw my make-up on in the parking lot (yup- everyone I encountered before 10:30 am, saw a scary scary sight!).  My make-up is in Gage's backpack. With Gage. At school.  Oh well- I resolve myself to just not have make-up today. I go to grab my work laptop bag and it's not there. It's in the floor in my bedroom. Of course.

Back home to get the computer. I can't do ANYTHING without my laptop. Grab Gage's pillow and blanket while I'm there and take it to him (and get my make-up while I'm there).  Throw make-up on and I'm FINALLY ready for work. *Phew* Talk about a crazy morning!!!!

Novel Part 2

More short stories about my funny man from the end of the week.... (or some time in the last few weeks anyway....)

Thanksgiving in Granbury. PawPaw carries the giant, beautiful turkey to the table. Gage watches with a confused look.  "Ummmm, Mama, that's one BIG snail!!" SNAIL?!?!? He thought the roasted turkey was a giant snail. Nice.  It took me a good 30 minutes and 3 other people's input to convince him that it was, indeed, a turkey. Not that that made him taste it.... Happy Thanksgiving, he's eating a peanut butter sandwich and raisins. Delicious.

Last night William was cooking dinner while Gage and I watched TV (doesn't that make William sound really good and me sound really crappy? Oh well, such is life.)  I went in to check and see if I could help (and also to see if William would do that pick you up and pop your back thing- ok, fine! I went to have him pop my back and covered it by asking if he needed help first, shut up. :)) So he picks me up and no luck. Before going back to the couch with Gage, I gave William a kiss. Gage yells from the couch "Awwwww, Daddy that's so niiiiiice!"  Hahahaha!

Snot Happens.  Gage's nose has broken valve or something. I looked at him the other day and his lip was COVERED in snot. I grossed out a bit and said "OH Gage, let's go get you a kleenex." He very, cooly and calmly replied, "No thanks, Mom. I'm just lickin' it." EWWWWWWW! 

I've been telling Gage about Santa (who he either calls Santa, or Christmas Claus.... weird.)  and about how he should be good so that he can get presents.  I told him he better be nice or Santa won't bring him a certain toy he wants and he says "It's ok Mom, then we just go get it for ourselves."  I should have started this conversation with him before he got smarter than me. Doh.

Good Thing....

Ok, I just have to start this off by saying it's a good thing I don't stay home with this kid all the time or I'd have to start a novel for all the hilarity that spills from his being. :) 

That being said, here are a few shorties from my shorty. (Please don't read that in the gansta way.... ew).

First of all, he thinks Daddy wants a Barbie for Christmas. Yup, I'm sure that's exactly what Daddy wants is a barbie.  Today I asked him again and now he thinks that Daddy would like a submarine. I checked with Daddy, and he said as long as it has internet access, a submarine is just fine! :)

Second- I've been teaching him the REAL meaning of Christmas and I think it might be backfiring.  I've explained to him that it's the day Jesus was born and the whole world throws a giant birthday party for Jesus, but we get the gifts just like we get Jesus' love.  Ok- I'm afraid that he is now under the impression that at all birthday parties, the gifts will be for him.... dun dun dun. We'll see.

We were at my brother's house for my mom's birthday Saturday and my gigantor cousin that Gage has never seen before comes in.  After playing a little bit, he does the "Give me five, OH you're too slow..." gimmick and taps Gage on the cheek.  Gage says, with hands on hips, "We don't hit." with his calmest, sternest voice.  Funny to see a 6'4, 280 lb man put in his place by a 3 year old. There were no words.... just laughter. :)

He got to play rough with Uncle Jacob and was just in heaven. That night when I put him down he said "Mama, I like playing with Uncle Jacob. He doesn't get hurt like you do." Touche kid, touche.